What is a "Real" Woman?

I spent a portion of my day today when I wasn't working on things at the office, thinking about what defines a real woman.  Most of my musing was brought about by this facebook post, where users were discussing that exact topic in the comments section.  Most of the comments were down-to-earth and well-meaning, but I think a few people there totally let the meaning fly over their heads and crash into the mountainside behind them.

To me, a real woman isn't a personality genre so much as a physical genre, and to say you are a real woman means that you are not trying in vain to conform yourself to the "norm" that our society and the media want you to believe is the "right and true."  The idea of being a real woman means that you have found an inner peace within yourself (you might liken it to a zen, of sorts,) and have determined yourself to break down those social barriers that were put up in the first place.  Much like a bull in a china shop, those walls have to come tumbling down if you ever want to make peace with yourself and begin to fully love who you are as a person, regardless of your age, size, color, creed, sexuality, or otherwise.  This is important, not only because it teaches tolerance of yourself as well as others, but it means that this idea can be used not only for "Adipositivity", but for everything else under the sun, as well. 

In order to fully understand what those social barriers are, we must look at how the rest of the world perceives them, try to understand the reasoning behind their ideals, and make the case for why they aren't what reality is.  There's a bit of history, some science and lots of learning this time, so come to class with your thinking caps on.  Let's get started. :)

That little black dress...

I've been spending the day, doing nothing but cleaning the kitchen and bedroom, as well as doing laundry.  In the middle of putting the clean clothes away (I tend to live out of a hamper, although my clothes are usually neatly folded right out of the dryer) I found a little black dress I bought at the beginning of 2011, just before my trip back to the South from California.

Please forgive the graininess... and the lack of shape... I was about 30 pounds heavier in that image than I am now, and I also wasn't wearing a corset.  I <3 corsets... but I was so upset with the way that it looked that I haven't really worn it since the day I tried it on.  Why did I buy it?  Because every girl needs a Little Black Dress (LBD.)

Fast forward to today.  It was in a trunk I keep near my closet, filled with things I like but rarely use.  I think I have a couple pairs of shoes in there, some college textbooks, a PS2 (the slim kind), and probably a couple purses.  Those of you who know me understand that I don't carry a purse often.  I was looking for my oxford pumps when I saw it, rolled up and hidden underneath a book.  I pulled it out and thought for a second, "Ok, I've got a lot more clothing now than I did a year and a half ago, and probably have enough accessories to flesh this out into something worth wearing..." and I did...

I put on a full-body corset this time, but it was peeking out of the back of the dress, since this one is a bit shorter in the back than I'd like.  I had previously bought a bolero shrug from Ross, but it looked awkward with everything else, so I just had tossed it into the clothes pile I was starting to just now rearrange and almost forgot about it.  As I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized I could use it.  At the same time, I looked down, found my stretchy belt, and decided to also incorporate it into this dress.  The result is what you see above.  Not too shabby, if you ask me, and looks A LOT better than it did before.  I thought about rocking it out with some pumps, but the ones I have hurt my feet way too much, and recently my ankles have been pretty weak -- this time I opted for flats.  And there I had it - my first little black dress, and one that I can wear with confidence.


If anyone knows of a good place to buy wide-width and PRETTY pumps, let me know... I'd need ones with either a Mary-Jane or an Ankle strap.

As an added bonus, I remembered I had this one, too:

Again, forgive the bathroom photo-bombs... :(

I think I'm Starting to Understand

With the overwhelming amount of negative media in relationship to what real women actually look like, it's hard to know who you're supposed to be and how you're supposed to handle it.  For years, I've been trying to conform to a "norm" that doesn't exist, an image of someone that can't possibly see the light of day, or even come to find someone to love her.  Hell, even now, I'm having a hard time coming up with the words I want to use to express myself, partly because I suppose I still have a few issues with all of it.  I love me, but part of me doesn't.

I'm sharing the following photos because I feel I need to express myself, in ways that words can't.
Please feel free to comment and share, but please do not steal.  If you plan on using my photos, please link back to me.

Random Photography

This post contains a large amount of photography.  If you'd like to see some of my work, please continue, after the break.  As always, please do not use any of my images without my express permission.

Thar be lessons learned...

There used to be a time when I thought I knew what I wanted to do.  I thought I had everything planned out, and no matter what anyone told me, I was going to follow through with it, be successful and not have to worry anymore.  Looking back, this hasn't gone quite as I had planned.  I am going to apologize in advance for the rambling and lack of a sense of direction when it comes to this post -- I'm writing whatever comes into my mind at that exact moment.

I started this blog in 2007, with the full intentions of making updates to it on a daily, if not weekly basis.  Unfortunately, that did not happen.  Here I am, nearly 5 years later, wondering why I never even made an attempt to put my thoughts out there.